Remember remember

Today have mostly been trying to explain the colossal significance of the 5th November to a five year old. But the details of bonfire night and the US Presidential Election seem to have got muddled on the way.

Me: Will you stop showing me your pants, this is utterly exciting news.

Millie: Why?

Me: Because America has elected its first ever black President.

Millie: Is he the doll?

Me: What doll?

Millie: The doll that tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

Me: You mean Guy Fawkes?

Millie: Yes. The doll.

Me: No. He is a real, and alive, important man.

Millie: Then why is there fireworks?

Me: I give up.

Millie: How far is Afghanistan?

Me: My thoughts precisely

It’s a shame. I wanted her to remember this for the rest of her life. Maybe she will. But I’m pretty sure it will be as the day when she ate too many marshmallows and got her monkey stuck in the washing machine.

About Joanna Nadin

A former broadcast journalist and special adviser to the prime minister, since leaving politics I’ve written more than 80 books for children and adults, as well as speeches for politicians, and articles for newspapers and magazines like The Guardian, Red and The Amorist. I also lecture in Creative Writing at Bath Spa University, and hold a doctorate in young adult literature. I’m a winner of the Fantastic Book Award and the Surrey Book Award, and have been shortlisted for the Roald Dahl Funny Prize, the Booktrust Best Book award and Queen of Teen among others, and twice nominated for the Carnegie Medal, for Everybody Hurts, and for Joe All Alone, which is now a BAFTA-winning and Emmy-nominated BBC TV series. I've also worked with Sir Chris Hoy on the Flying Fergus series and ghost-written Angry Birds under another name. I like London, New York, Essex, tea, cake, Marmite, mint imperials, prom dresses, pubs, that bit in the West Wing where Donna tells Josh she wouldn’t stop for a red light if he was in an accident, junk shops, crisps, Cornwall, St Custard’s, Portuguese custard tarts, political geeks, pin-up swimsuits, the Regency, high heels, horses, old songs, my Grandma’s fur coat, vinyl, liner notes, the smell of old books, the feel of a velveteen monkey, Guinness, quiffs, putting my hand in a bin of chicken feed, the 1950s, burlesque, automata, fiddles, flaneuring, gigs in fields on warm summer nights, Bath, the bath.
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