The Queen of Bloody Everything

“Small town, small minds,” you say, as now-to-be-neighbours watch us through twitching nets as we drag dustbin bags and old crisp boxes from the back of Maudsley Mick’s Transit. I stare back defiantly as I march up the path, ignoring the trail of tampons, playscripts, a potato masher that I leave in my wake. I am still, of course, happy to style myself as you. Because you – and Mick, and Toni, and the revolving cast of misfits, dropouts and almost-damned that bed down on borrowed floors – are all that I know. But that is about to change…

Dido Sylvia Jones is six years and twenty seven days old when she moves from a London squat to suburban Essex and promptly falls in love with Tom Trevelyan, the boy next door. It’s not just him Dido falls for, though: it’s also his precocious sister, Harry, and their fastidious, controlling mother, Angela. Because Angela is everything that Edie – Dido’s own mother – is not. And the Trevelyans are exactly the kind of family Dido dreams of. Normal. Which is what Dido wants to be, more than anything else in the world. But normal is the very thing Edie can never be, as Dido will eventually learn the hard way.

  • Longlisted for the Guardian‘s ‘Not the Booker’ 2018
  • Shortlisted for the 2018 Hearst Magazines’ Big Book Awards
  • A Cosmopolitan top three ‘Must Read’ for 2018
  • The Independent ‘Best 10 new novels for 2018’.
  • Red magazine ‘Best 10 of 2018’.
  • Topshop ‘Best summer reading’ 2018.
  • ‘Editor’s choice’ – The Bookseller


The book expertly follows funny and chubby six-year-old Dido into adulthood, swinging from gentle comedy towards something sadder, and wiser… a must-read. (The Independent)

A bittersweet coming of age novel, The Queen Of Bloody Everything perfectly captures the pangs of adolescence, first love and growing up in a small town. You’re in for a treat with this one. (Red)

A brilliant read. Don’t miss. (Best)

An emotional rollercoaster, which will have you in tears of both laughter and sadness. (OK magazine)

Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere meets The Royal Tenenbaums. (Cosmopolitan)

Tender and with a wince-inducing evocation of adolescence, you’ll fall for awkward Dido as surely as she falls for the boy next door. Cleverly crafted and beautifully written. (Sunday Mirror)

A lovely story of bewilderment and belonging. (Sunday Express)

Nostalgic, funny and charming. (Daily Telegraph)

[A] heartfelt coming of age novel. (Daily Mail)

Bittersweet, moving and funny. (The Bookseller)

For fans of One Day, to be transported to the hot, heady summers of the 1970s. (Topshop)

An absolutely hilarious read, brimming with wry observations on love and life. (Sheerluxe)

Funny, tender and heart-breaking. (AGA Living)

A moving story of love, identity, friendship and the painful, complex muddle of family relationships. (WI Life)

Beautifully written, and packed with laugh-out-loud humour, exquisite home truths and life lessons. (Blackpool Gazette)

Poignant, full of nostalgic period detail, and exhilaratingly entertaining, The Queen of Bloody Everything cannot fail to capture hearts. (Lancashire Post)

A terrific story, beautifully and often hilariously told. I loved it. (Weekend Argus, South Africa)

Stunning use of language, great characters, wonderful story – it’ll make you laugh and cry. Recommended. (TalkSport)

With a dab of Nina Stibbe’s Man At The Helm and Joanna Cannon’s The Trouble with Goats and Sheep, The Queen Of Bloody Everything is about yearning for something that doesn’t truly exist. (Stylist)

This bittersweet coming of age novel is both achingly romantic and painfully real, as well as one of the best accounts of the mother-daughter bond that I have ever read. (Ruth Ware, author of The Lying Game and The Death of Mrs Westaway)

A bittersweet delight. Perfectly captures the awkwardness and longing of those who don’t quite fit in. (Sarra Manning, author of After the Last Dance and House of Secrets)

I bloody adored this perceptive, funny, unflinching novel about growing up, love, sex, mothers and everything. (Kate Eberlen, author of Miss You)

This book is making me want to be a better writer. Consider me in awe. (CJ Skuse, author of Sweet Pea)

Beautifully written and so evocative that I could smell the 80s houseshare… an ending that both satisfies your deepest cravings and, at the same time, utterly breaks your heart. (Mimi Thebo, author of Hospital High)

Funny, moving and evocative. (Anthony McGowan, author of The Art of Failing)

Beautifully written, funny and heartbreaking. (Cathy Cassidy)

So good… more than lives up to its outstanding title. (Rosie Walsh, author of The Man Who Didn’t Call.)



Order the book