Remember when I said I was going to be at a famous book thing in Scotland a while back. Then I had to hastily retract that statement for fear of self-imploding by the end of the sentence etc? Well, now I can say, without fear of implosion / explosion / injury to whimsical kittens that I am actually definitely doing not one but TWO events at this year’s Edinburgh International Book Festival.
I’ll be talking about Penny’s dreadful deeds at 10.30 on Saturday 18th August at the RBS Corner Theatre. And then at 5.30 the same day I’ll be taking part in the Amnesty International Imprisoned Writers session at Peppers Theatre along with Oliver Balch and Holly Webb.
Although now am on verge of imploding with excitement as the last time I was in Edinburgh was in the early 1990s, in my mainly-blocked-out-due-to-bad-clothing-and-mental-hair days of being a drama student. And am now utterly grown up so have vowed that therefore, this time, I will not be doing any of the following:
- subsisting entirely on battered cauliflower
- pretending to be a fish
- dreadlocking my hair in the hope someone may think I am vaguely interesting
- sleeping in a cleaning cupboard
- reading Sartre
- pretending to like Sartre
- thinking climbing Arthur’s Seat at 3am is a genius idea
- partaking of experimental drugs
- partaking of experimental puppetry
- finding out how much single malt I can drink before I am sick
- finding out how much single malt I can drink before I think climbing Arthur’s seat at 3am is a genius idea
- nodding my head meaningfully while someone plays guitar on a roof on Royal Mile in the hope they will think I am vaguely interesting
- sleeping on the roof
And I could go on except that I think Mrs Nadin snr may well implode if she reads any more. Though at least she will not injure whimsical kittens as they are on the banned list.
Anyway, this time I will be being far too cultural and clever, plus I have much better hair. Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Joanna Nadin 
Your student days sound much more interesting than mine. I haven’t done any of those things in two years of university – although I did start plaiting my hair because it was so long that a ponytail didn’t keep it tidy any more. And I did climb onto my porch roof because I saw a coin on it, then realise that it was actually harder than it looked to get back onto my bedroom windowsill (result: me back indoors, jeans covered in dust, next day’s breakfast banana squished beyond repair), but I was entirely sober…
I have also entered a long-term two-way dare with my sister (first one to swallow two whole nutmegs, hence risking 48 hours of delirium according to Google, will win £50) and eaten nothing but sweetcorn for two days (thank you *so* much, housemate who unceremoniously evicted my kilo of sweetcorn from the freezer…).
Seriously? Nutmeg makes you delirious? *goes to rewrite 7th Rachel book*
Seriously – two whole nutmegs (or 10g freshly-ground) will send you completely out of it, like hallucinating but not aware that it’s an illusion. It takes a few hours to kick in but lasts for about 48 hours. Google is great fun.