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I hate it. I can see it in their cheap-Chardonnay-dilated eyes when I’m introduced at parties or pubs or political drinks things. “A writer, really? I’ve always thought I had a novel in me.”
“Gosh I say, smiling. Well you should definitely do something with that.”
When what I am thinking is “You patronizing, presumptious, conceited *insert expletive of choice here*. No one “has a novel in them”. We all have ideas, yes even you, you bloat-brained, idling *second expletive”. But few people have the skill and dedication to turn those ideas into words and then, harder still, get those words out of their heads and on to paper. What makes you think you could do that? I don’t say, ‘Oh, I could have been a doctor if I had been arsed. I’ve definitely got a twenty-four-hour heart transplant in me, I’ll probably try it when I retire.’ Because I wouldn’t be so fecking rude.”
Or would I? I am oh so very tempted to take a leaf from the clever and actual writer Che Golden’s book next time and reply, “A novel? Really? Don’t you think it might just be trapped wind?”
Joanna Nadin 
Awesome post. I feel the same way whenever anyone tells me they would like to be a “writer someday!”
I’d like to be an ice dancer and/or Molly Ringwald. But I am clever enough, and honest enough to know that is never going to happen. And thank you! x
I am soon going to start telling people that there are special new suppositories for that.
And another thing, it makes all us unpublished writers feel we’re in the same boat as the ‘ I could do that’ brigade. Well go on then, do it. Devote all your spare time to persuing a career that nine times out of ten tells you to it’s otherwise engaged. Get the book out of you, it’s bugger all use in you. ‘In you’ it’s actually just some thoughts, not a book, and we ALL have those. Grrrrr….
Exactly. Those who can do, those who can’t witter on about it at parties
Excellent post. Writers write. That’s what makes us writers.
YES!
I’ve I had a pound for every time someone has said that, I could try to wrest my pen from my hand and quit being a writer and retire! Next time offer them a laxative!
Fabulous! A woman once told me that she had the title all sorted, so the rest would be a doddle.
Ha ha you really made me laugh!
Great post! I remember a time before JK when people’s eyes would glaze over if I told them I was a children’s writer. Now it’s, ‘you must be a millionaire…..grrrrr!
Isn’t it something like 80% of writers don’t make minimum wage?
yep, that’s right. But enough to buy an Easter egg or two. Happy Easter, Jo, to you and the family.
You too x
Hahahaha. My favourite thing is when people tell me they know a ‘proper writer.’